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Talking about sex and sexuality
Even though it’s often considered a ‘taboo’ subject, it’s important for men to explore and talk about sex and their sexuality. Our sexuality and how we express ourselves sexually is a vital part of who we are. To ignore this, or to hide it away, is simply a way to hide a part of ourselves away.
Even the terminology around sex and sexuality can be loaded. Yes, in our society, sexuality does mean a way to describe whether we are attracted to women, or men, or both. But, that is only one aspect of sexuality. Our sexuality is also the way we feel about ourselves sexually, the way we express ourselves sexually and the way we allow others to connect to us sexually.
Our sexuality is such a significant part of who we are, that I would even venture to say that our relationship to our sexuality, and ourselves as sexual beings, is often reflective of our overall relationship to ourselves and the world around us.
Do we have a healthy relationship to sex? Is sex about intimately connecting with another soul in an open, vulnerable, caring and respectful way that allows the yin and yang, the giving and receiving, to flow according to its own rhythm? Or is sex an act of love between two people? Or is sex just a physical collaboration? Or perhaps sex is about control and power?
And, if you have a sense of what sex and sexuality is for you, how different do you think you are in other relationship scenarios?
If you’re in a relationship, or have previously been in a relationship, have you really talked to your partner about what you like to do, and about your needs? And, I’m not talking just about the basic around ‘that was great’. I’m talking about your deepest sexual fantasies or desires, or even the moments in time where you’ve felt yourself most sexually connected to another being, or even the practical physical aspects of which parts of your body want/need to be touched?
Getting in touch with your sexuality, owning it, embracing it and allowing it to take you to places you’ve never dreamed about, is a powerful way for ordinary or even unsure men to become extraordinary and very real men.
Harley Conyer
Menstuff
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