Men & Secrets: Do all men have them?

I was chatting to a man earlier today who suggested to me that men tend to be secretive.

It took me a moment to consider that statement before I responded with something along the lines of: “Sometimes we may hide things away intentionally. Other times it can be less intentional”.

Yes, there are times when men may deliberately be secretive. This could happen in a range of situations where they don’t want someone else to know something about themselves, their thoughts, their behaviours or even their desires. But then again, I wonder if there is any difference between men and women in relation to these kinds of secrets?

On the other hand, I suspect that men may be far better at unintentionally being secretive.

What do I mean by this?

Well, given that men overall tend to express their thoughts, feelings and emotions less often, it is suggestive that when it comes to certain aspects of themselves, men will tend to hide parts away. However, this ‘hiding’ may not necessarily be intentional. It may simply be that they are uncomfortable about expresseing these aspects of themselves, or haven’t learnt how, or possibly they’ve been raised in a way that specifically cautions them about expressing these parts?

So, could it be fair to say that most men have many secretive aspects of themselves? Secretive … because the people in their lives have no knowledge of these parts? Secretive … because the men themselves may not even be fully aware of these parts within themselves either?

Do you have any secretive parts of yourself? Are there parts of you that others don’t know about? Are there parts of you that you don’t really know very well either?

It’s not always appropriate to share all parts of ourselves to everyone in our lives. It is normal to moderate our words and behaviours to the situation or the environment in which we find ourselves. In fact, some of the most effective individuals in our society are really good at doing this.

However, are there parts of yourself that never see the light of day?

Do all men have these kinds of secrets, or just a few?

Do you?


Harley Conyer



Category : Blog & Manhood & Secrets

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