Are you heteroflexible?
Do you consider yourself a straight male who given the right circumstances occasionally has sex with other men but are not attracted to them?
In recent years a number of sociologists have been researching a group of men who are challenging what we consider it means to be heterosexual. These men have sex with other men but don’t consider themselves bisexual or gay.
Often these men identify as straight, have wives and families and are able to comfortably compartmentalise their sex lives.
It’s important to remember that gender is socially constructed and as a society we attribute certain roles and expectations to each gender. The terms heterosexual and homosexual only entered mainstream Western culture at the end of the 19th century.
Heterosexuality became the norm and this is what we refer to as hetero -normative. People who do not identify as heterosexual are often stigmatised by the mainstream culture. Generally speaking, heterosexual men are brought up not to touch or show any affection towards other men as well as suppress their feelings and emotions in order to be considered masculine.
Keeping all this in mind it seems we are undergoing a cultural shift and many young people are challenging our current system of sexual identity. These people use terms like pansexual and genderqueer to describe their sexual orientation.
The complexity and fluidity of sexual orientation is further highlighted by the work of sociologists who have several categories for exploring our sexuality. They talk about sexual orientation identity, sexual behaviour, and sexual attraction.
This reveals the complexity and fluidity of our sexuality. Labels are limiting and can box people in. We need to open ourselves up to the vast possibilities of human sexual experience and take the time to listen to each other and become curious about another person’s experience beyond our own assumptions and beliefs.
Let’s start a conversation.
Douglas Channing
Menstuff
www.menstuff.com.au
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